Pesadilla en la Cocina

Who has watched the cooking show 'Kitchen Nightmares?' I haven't. But apparently there is a Spanish equivalent called 'Pesadilla en la cocina', which I experienced last night in Marbella.

So Ana, a friend of mine from the rugby team, used to work in film production, and still has friends in the business. Thus, when they needed people to fill up the restaurant in Marbella she was called by a friend and she, Carlos (the other player from La Linea) and I went to kick start my television career, practicing my food evaluation vocabulary in Spanish. We drove the hour to Marbella, parked and got to the restaurant just in time. We signed the image rights wavers, heard the speech about participating and saying whatever we thought about the food. Then...we waited outside in the chilly night air for an hour and half...our first taste of the experience to come. We were the last group to go into the restaurant, as they were letting people in one group at a time to make it look natural. When we finally went in it was very exciting, there were cameras all over the restaurant and sound people and microphones...
We sat down, got some wine and appetizers (free food yeah!) and ordered our starters. They came about 15 minutes later. Then we waited another 20 minutes for our entrees, and I was pretty excited because I was going to try my first paella. As we waited it was becoming clear that the restaurant was emptying, the earlier groups having finished already. But the waitress assured us that it wasn't a problem, they'd stay with us. The food finally arrived and I had taken two steaming bites of the paella when we were told by the production team that we needed to leave. (Ana didn't know anyone on the actual crew, she knew a guy that worked for the company that does the show). So we had to stand up and leave our delicious food on the table. The saddest thing. Ana gave them a piece of her mind on our way out. I was too confused about what was happening to react properly. I was actually 'shooed' out by the head of production, who according to Ana's friend is a real asshole and causes a lot of problems.
So in the end of it all, we were not interviewed, the only way I will be caught on screen is on my trip to the bathroom or my back as they interviewed the table behind me. We drove for two hours and waited an hour and a half outside for a glass of wine, two shared starters and two bites of paella. Shiiiiiiiit.
We ended the night at Burger King getting a cone of soft serve. The United States comes through!
In other news, this weekend I went to Malaga with my rugby team here and although I didn't play (normal running is fine (I ran 8 miles today!) the sprinting and contact of rugby is still a slightly dubious idea) I had a great time. The feeling of family on a rugby team seems to translate to all cultures.